Caught Up In Ancient History
by xenasargo2
Summary: We all know that Sean left Degrassi right after the school shooting...but what if his reasons were more complicated than everyone thought? Rated M for language and adult situations...among possible other things...
1. Chapter 1: Dare You To Move

Caught Up In Ancient History

**(In response to the recent theft of another user's story: Fair warning to anyone who feels copying is OK…I DO keep records of when I start stories, so please use your own creativity! Plagiarism is illegal, and as soon as this story is in print, it becomes mine legally (according to copyright laws)…and if I find this story elsewhere, I will be forced to get REALLY upset and nasty! And NOBODY wants THAT! So, please feel free to read and enjoy…but NOT steal! OK? Thanks!)**

_This story begins on the night of the shooting. Obviously, I don't own the characters…unless I've made them up; I just own my part of this story. This is just a 'what-if' type scenario. _

Chapter 1: Dare You To Move

Sean sat there, staring at the TV in stunned silence, willing the tears not to fall. His stomach was knotted tightly, and his hands were shaking. All he could think of…

"Sean?" Ellie whispered softly, touching his cheek. "Do you want to talk about it?"

He shook his head. _'No,'_ he thought. _'Not with you.'_

She sighed. "OK. We don't have to talk. We can just-"

Sean stood up abruptly. "I need a walk."

Ellie stood up. "OK. We can-"

He turned towards her. "No!" He sighed and softened his voice, touching her cheek. "No. I just…I need to be alone."

She nodded. "OK…if you're sure..?"

"Yeah. I'm sure. It's…I just…I need to walk a bit."

"When will you be home?"

Sean shrugged. "Don't wait up," he mumbled as he grabbed his key and walked out.

Ellie sighed and went about cleaning up the apartment.

Meanwhile…

Emma was sitting on her bed, staring at her shaking hands. Her stomach was rolling. She felt like she couldn't breathe…the smell of the yellow paint filling her nostrils.

She'd come home after going back to school to find Toby. It had still seemed so unreal. She'd let the tears fall for Toby. He'd lost his friend. Emma hadn't. But still, she'd cried. When it was over, she'd come home and locked herself in her room. Her parents were still at Toby's, and the silence of the dark house was deafening.

Meanwhile…

Sean walked quickly, trying to get past that moment. Maybe if he moved faster…maybe he could…Sean broke into a run. He hadn't run so fast in his life. Not even when he'd been running from the cops. Tonight, he was running for his life. He was running from the devil.

"_He's got a gun, Emma. Let's go."_

"_DON'T turn away from me!"_

Sean jumped over a see saw in the park as if he were jumping hurdles. His heart was pounding and his lungs were screaming with fire. But he couldn't stop. She was there. She was in danger. Emma…was about to die. She was right there in front of him and he was going to kill her.

Sean ran faster. "No!" he grunted softly as he ran. "No!" Finally, his legs gave way, and he screamed. He'd never screamed so hard in his life…not even when he was born. "NOOOOOOOOO!" He fell to his knees.

And suddenly, she was there. She was screaming his name. She was shaking him. "It's not real. Not real. Not real."

Suddenly, he knew where he had to be. He had to see her. He had to look at her face and know for sure that she was alive.

He stood up and walked to her house, his knees trying to buckle underneath him the whole way. Guilt raced through him as he thought of Ellie, sitting at home, worrying about him, but he HAD to do this. Ellie hadn't been there. She hadn't seen the look on Rick's face…the pure rage and hatred covering up a lifetime of fear and pain. She hadn't been the one who'd been forced to shoot him to protect someone.

Sean sighed as he approached her house. All the lights were off. _'Damn!'_ he thought as he looked at his watch. Twelve thirty. How could she be asleep already! After everything that had happened…how could she POSSIBLY sleep? He frowned as he tried to decide what to do. He couldn't go home without seeing her first.

Finally, he decided to sneak around to the back of the house and knock on her window. He'd look at her face, see her…and then he would leave. He knelt down to tap on her window, but that's when he saw the most heart wrenching sight of his life.

The light from the street caught on her blonde hair, giving it a strange glow. Her head was dropped down, staring at her hands. Sean tapped on her window, but she didn't seem to hear. He opened the window. "Emma?" he whispered softly.

She gasped and looked up, and Sean's heart broke. She hadn't been staring at her hands. There she sat, still dressed in that same outfit that Sean had eyed appreciatively earlier in the day…before Rick had kissed her. Tears were dripping off her chin. In one hand was a picture of Sean…in the other, a lighter.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw the red marks just above the hem of the already short skirt, which she had pulled dangerously high, giving Sean a glimpse of her white, lacy underwear.

"What the hell are you doing?" he gasped as he knocked the lighter from her hand.

She just sat there, trembling. Sean knelt next to her, lifting the skirt a bit more to get a closer look at the burns. "Why?" he whispered. "Why would you do this?"

When she didn't respond, Sean pulled her up and hugged her, rocking her. "No more, OK? Don't. You…I…You just have to stop. It wasn't your fault."

Emma broke into gut wrenching sobs and clung tightly to him. "It's OK, Em. You're OK. We made it. We…survived."

Emma continued to sob, but nodded into his shoulder. He just held her. "Please don't do that anymore," he whispered. His phone rang and he sighed. _'Damn, Ell!' _he thought to himself. _'I'll get there when I get there!'_

"H'lo?" he mumbled into the phone.

"Bam-Bam! What's up?"

Sean looked nervously at the trembling girl in his arms. "Uhhh…nothing. What's up?"

"Killer party over here, Man. Just the thing to get your mind off what ails you."

Sean studied Emma. He knew they both needed to forget. "OK. I'm…who all's there?"

"Everybody, Man! So, haul Ellie's skinny, sick ass out of bed and-"

"I'm gonna' bring a friend…see you in twenty."

"Cool."

Sean hung up. "OK, Em. We're going out for a while. OK?"

She looked up at him and frowned, but didn't say a word. Sean sighed. "Please? Do you trust me?" She just nodded. "Good. Now…let's get you something…clean to wear."

Sean ended up pulling out a black skirt. He was afraid to put jeans over her burns, so he grabbed the little mini skirt and a red halter top, frowning. He knew they must be Manny's because they were DEFINITELY not Emma's style.

"I'm not trying to be a perv, OK?" he whispered as he slid her paint-covered skirt down her legs. She just nodded and stepped from that into the new skirt. His breath caught in his throat as his knuckle brushed her breast as he unzipped the little jacket. He willed his heart to slow its ridiculous beat as he pulled her little white shirt up, revealing her white lace bra. He started to put the halter-top on her, but she pulled away and went to her closet, grabbing a soft pink sweatshirt. The neck had been cut off, and the midriff was frayed with age. She handed it to Sean who chuckled softly and slid it over her shoulders.

She looked beautiful, and he knew it. Her flat stomach…the tiny skirt…her bare shoulders. Sean swallowed hard. This was nothing more than two friends trying to get over the hell they'd just witnessed. _'I'm not ABOUT to screw it up by getting horny for her again,' _he kept telling himself as he led her to the bathroom to wash her tear stained face.

Suddenly, she seemed to go into autopilot. She put on some mascara and lip-gloss, and followed him from the room. Sean unzipped his hoody as they climbed out her window and into the chilly night air. He wrapped it around her shoulders and took her hand in his. Their fingers naturally intertwined with each other and they walked in silence to Jay's house.

Sean realized that, at this moment, he was right where he needed to be. Guilt over Ellie disappeared. Right now, his friend needed him, and he wasn't about to EVER turn his back on her again…whether Ellie liked it or not. And if Jay started HIS shit…Sean wouldn't back down again. THIS time, he planned to have the strength to stick by Emma.


	2. Chapter 2: Holla' Back Girl

Chapter 2: Holla' Back Girl

Sean led Emma to the front porch. She stopped short, making Sean stumble back a step. He turned to her, relieved to see something other than a glazed look in her eyes. He frowned, realizing it was fear.

"What is it, Em?"

"Sean…this is…Jay's!" she whispered.

Sean nodded. "Yeah…it is. Come on."

Emma shook her head, still whispering. "I can't…he…hates me."

Sean frowned. "So? Since when has that ever stopped you?"

"Not…I can't…not tonight."

"Em, you need this. I need this. We need…" He sighed. "We need to get today out of our heads. Just come in. If he bugs you…or you're not having fun…we'll leave. OK?"

She chewed her lip, her eyes darting from side to side. He sighed sadly and pulled her closer, so that she was close, but not intimate close. "Emma…trust me?"

She looked in his eyes and sighed. "I hate when you do that," she groused and followed him inside.

She'd been right. Jay had seen them right off. His jaw dropped…then his lips formed a leering smirk. "So…" he yelled over the music. "Bam-Bam…what's up with Green Peace? Takin' a walk on the geek side?"

"Fuck off, Jay. You said I could bring a friend. I brought a friend. Either ask us to leave, or back the fuck off," he growled, nose-to-nose with Jay, letting him know he was serious.

Jay shrugged. "Whatever. It's cool. If you want a private place to-"

"It's not like that."

"Yeah. OK. Anyway…have fun." He turned to someone that Sean and Emma didn't recognize. "Hey! Steve, my man! What's up?"

"Thanks, Sean."

He shrugged. "Should have done that a LONG time ago. Want a drink?"

Emma nodded. "Ummm…yeah."

Sean walked away and came back a minute later with two glasses. "I checked. It's not spiked."

"Too bad," she murmured, taking a sip.

Fifteen minutes later, he went to grab two more drinks. This time, there was a line, and Emma waited off to the side, looking around at the crowd. Everyone was dancing…making out…and Jay suddenly appeared.

"So, what exactly are you expecting from Sean?"

"Nothing. He invited me."

Jay nodded. "Yeah. Right." He watched her for a moment. "Wanna' dance?"

She frowned. "You hate me…and you want to dance with me?"

Jay nodded and drug her to the floor. "Cameron's got a problem, you know."

"Like what?"

"He wants to fuck you…but he won't hurt Ellie."

Emma sighed. "What's your point, Jay?"

He pulled her closer. "I can feel it…you want laid. Sean won't do it for you…you know that, right?"

Emma flushed. "I don't-"

"Sure you do. I can feel it." He grabbed her hips roughly and pulled her against him, making her yelp in surprise. He began nibbling her ear. "God! You're such a hot little-"

"Jay, don't," she whimpered, unable to fight.

His hands began sliding her skirt up. "Look at this little 'screw me skirt' he chuckled softly. "We could do it right here, and no one would be the wiser."

"I asked you…please don't." She felt her throat clogging with tears. "I don't want to. I…"

Jay ground his hips against hers, his jeans covered groin rubbing painfully against her, snapping her back into reality. "Jay?"

"Hmmm?" he murmured softly, his lips nibbling her neck.

She shoved him back. "Go…go get fucked," she muttered angrily, walking away.

"Oh, I intend to…with or without you!" he shouted angrily.

Emma went in search of Sean. Jay had made her feel something inside her. She felt dirty, and weak kneed. She frowned. Yeah, she wanted to…but Jay was the last person she wanted it from.

When she approached, Sean saw her and frowned. "You OK?" he asked, taking her hand.

She nodded. "Yeah. I've…I need to pee."

Sean nodded. "Come on. I'll take you."

Emma frowned. "No! I mean…you're thirsty." She hated lying to him, but she was afraid to be around him.

"Emma? What's wrong? You look scared."

She shook her head. "I…I just REALLY need to pee."

Sean led her to the bathroom and checked to make sure no one was inside before letting her go in. Emma stood at the sink, taking deep breaths, trying to calm herself…trying to get the mental images of her past with Sean out of her mind. After a few moments, she sighed, feeling better, and flushed the toilet so Sean wouldn't suspect. She walked out.

Sean studied her for a moment. "Let's dance," he muttered, dragging her down the steps and onto the dance floor. The music was loud and thumping. Sean pulled her against him.

**Uh huh, this my shit  
All the girls stomp your feet like this  
**

Emma closed her eyes, trying to block out images of earlier in the day. She didn't want to think. She just wanted to feel.

_Emma watched in horror, frozen, as the gun went off. Both boys fell. Toby clung to her…they stood there in disbelief._

**A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just gonna happen like that  
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl  
I ain't no holla back girl  
**

Sean pulled her tighter to him, reveling in the smell of her shampoo, which hadn't changed since grade 8. It smelled like honeysuckle. He buried his nose in her hair, remembering the feel of her body rubbing against his as he'd pulled her behind him to protect her from the gun, praying to God that it was all a dream. It wasn't.

_He heard Emma gasp as he let the weight of Rick's body pull him to the ground. He lay there in stunned silence. His eyes were unseeing…unblinking…and he looked dead. Emma finally seemed to register what was happening._

_The floor was already covered in blood. "Sean?" she whispered softly. "Sean?"_

_She turned to Toby, too afraid to contemplate the ramifications of what could be happening. "Toby? Get help."_

_Toby was too shocked to move. "Go! NOW!" she shrieked as she hurried over to Sean. "Sean? Please…don't be…oh, Sean!" she cried out._

ooh, this my shit , this my shit

The rhythm was steady and Emma was trying to lose herself within the beat. She pulled free from Sean and turned her back to him, raising her arms and swaying her hips to the beat. _'Don't think. Just feel,' _her mind ordered her. _'Just forget that you told him your most intimate secret…your biggest weakness.'_

"_Please Sean," Emma sobbed, taking his hand. "Please…say something. Don't leave me. You can't leave me!" She pressed her cheek to his. "Don't leave me! I love you! Please? I love you! I never stopped…don't make me live without you."_

"_Em?"_

**  
I heard that you were talking shit  
And you didn't think that I would hear it  
People hear you talking like that, getting everybody fired up  
So I'm ready to attack, gonna lead the pack  
Gonna get a touchdown, gonna take you out  
That's right, put your pom-poms down, getting everybody fired up  
**

Sean couldn't take it. He'd watched her hips sway to the music. He wanted her. He had Ellie. He couldn't have Emma. She wasn't his. Ellie was. _'Just…wait until you get home. Love Ellie the way you want to love Emma. Don't hurt either one of them,' _his mind ordered. Still…if he could just touch her…the feeling would go away.

He felt Emma gasp as he grabbed her hips and pulled her against him…his front to her back. They soon found the rhythm of the song again.

"_Em?"_

_Emma choked out a sob of relief and fell against him. "Oh, Sean!"_

"_Are you hurt? Did he hurt you?" She shook her head. "Don't cry, Em. I'm OK."_

_She looked into his eyes and nodded. "Why'd you do it? Why'd you save me?"_

_He frowned at her as if she were crazy. He sat up. "Em…you're part of me. If you died, I would die." His hands were full of blood, but it didn't seem to matter. Emma sensed his need. "I love you," he whispered as her lips fell over his._

**  
A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just goin' to happen like that  
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl  
I ain't no holla back girl **

Emma's pulse quickened as she felt Sean's hips grinding into hers. She moaned softly, closing her eyes. She tried to ignore it…tried to hide her body's reaction. They'd almost died today…she needed her friend.

_They broke their kiss, both feeling flushed and ashamed as the sound of several pairs of heavy boots thudded down the tiled halls in their direction. Suddenly, they were there…guns drawn._

"_Stop!" Sean shouted, pulling her against him as if he could shield her. "She's already had ONE fucking gun pointed at her today! Shit, guys! Aint' that enough!"_

_A man went to check Rick. Sean's blood froze when the man looked at the other officers and shook his head. Rick was dead._

'_Holy shit! I'm a fucking murderer!' Sean thought in horror._

ooh, this my shit , this my shit

Sean could feel his body reacting to Emma's closeness, but couldn't pull away. Everything in that moment told him to get the hell away from her…take her home before he went insane…to go home to his girlfriend, but he couldn't. He moaned softly, his head rising to the ceiling in agony, as Emma's hips ground harder against his. He took a deep breath to ease his dizziness and tried to stare straight ahead. Big mistake, but he realized too late that he had a straight view down her shirt. He watched in pain as sweat trickled down her neck, pooling in her cleavage. Her nipples poked dangerously against her bra, showing that she wanted him as much as he wanted her. He couldn't drag his eyes away. He groaned when he felt Emma tremble against him and turn around to face him.

_An officer came over and gently pulled Emma from Sean's arms. Another yanked Sean roughly from the ground._

"_Stop it!" she screamed as they tried to handcuff him. She realized in horror that his arm was bleeding. "Stop it! Don't hurt him!"_

"_It's OK, Em," he murmured softly._

"_NO!" she shrieked, trying to get to Sean. "He saved me! He's hurt! Stop hurting him!"_

_An officer finally seemed to take notice. "He's got a flesh wound, Sir."_

_The officer holding Emma back nodded. "OK. Take him to get it cleaned up."_

_Emma could hear the officer asking Sean questions. "What's your name, Son? Did you know the boy? Any reason why he might want to hurt anyone?"_

**  
So that's right dude, meet me at the bleachers  
No principals, no student-teachers  
Both of us wanna be the winner, but there can only be one  
So I'm gonna fight, gonna give it my all  
Gonna make you fall, gonna sock it to you  
That's right, I'm the last one standing, another one bites the dust **

Sean didn't think it was possible to get any closer to Emma, but he did. This time, he was sure he'd heard her moan. He laid his cheek against hers.

"What are we doing?" he murmured in her ear.

"Dancing," she murmured back.

"I don't think this is dancing," he said, biting his bottom lip when his leg slipped between hers and she ground herself against it. He could tell she was as excited as he was. And that was a problem. If one of them wasn't into it…he could save himself. But they both were…and now he wasn't so sure.

"Em?" he gasped into her ear. "I want to…uhhh…kiss you," he muttered.

Emma smiled shyly. "Shut up and dance."

Sean smiled at her and relaxed his grip a bit.

_The rest of the day was a blur. He felt numb. After he'd been cleaned up, his wound bandaged, they'd led him into the same room as the others. He saw Emma sitting there, completely in shock as they led him to another table. He knew Rick was dead, and he couldn't believe he had killed him. His hands shook as he talked to the officer. He dropped his head into his hand, trying to rub the scene from his mind. His eyes landed on Emma again, and stayed there._

"_Son…you say he-"_

"_Look," he mumbled softly. "He pointed the fucking gun in her face. I tried to stop him. I tried to talk him into giving it to me…" his voice cracked as images of Emma laying dead on the ground floated into his mind. "What the fuck would YOU have done? I…she's my best…I love her. I was so shitty to her, dammit! I owed her! I wasn't going to let him fucking kill her right in front of me! The bastard tried to hurt the most decent and loving person I know. I'm sorry I had to kill him…but I'm NOT sorry he's dead. Are we done now?"_

_The officer sighed and nodded._

A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just goin' to happen like that  
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl  
I ain't no holla back girl

Emma was dancing with her back to Sean. His hands were on her waist. She knew this was wrong. Sean belonged to Ellie…but she was so numb. Sean was making her feel. She'd been trying to feel ever since she'd climbed into the window and locked her door. She hadn't felt anything as she'd placed the hot lighter against her skin over and over.

She turned in his arms to face him. They looked in each other's eyes for a long moment. Emma dropped her forehead against his. "I died today," she cried out loudly to be heard over the music.

Sean's face pinched in pain. "Jesus, Em! Don't talk like that!"

She nodded. "OK…but you know I'm right."

_Emma sat in the empty room, listening to Archie lay into her about not coming to him about Rick's advances._

"_He pointed the gun right at me," she moaned softly, and her mother hugged her. Emma fell into her arms._

"_Mommy! If Sean hadn't been there…"_

"_Don't! Don't think like that!"_

ooh this my shit, this my shit

"No! You made it. You lived."

She shook her head with a smirk. "It's fucked up, I know," she yelled, laughing crazily. Sean frowned when she said 'fuck'…he'd never heard words harsher than 'hell' or 'damn' from her unless she was REALLY upset. She stopped laughing and looked at him again. "He wanted me dead because I'm a tease, you know."

"No, you're not!" he growled as her hands slid from his shoulders to his neck, lightly fluttering through his hair. "You're…not…" he ground out. God! He wanted to kiss her so bad.

Emma shrugged and turned her back to him. She began yelling out the next line of the song along with other partiers.

**  
let me hear you say this shit is bananas, b-a-n-a-n-a-s **

this shit is bananas  
b-a-n-a-n-a-s

again, shit is bananas  
b-a-n-a-n-a-s

Sean groaned as Emma put her hands on his hips. She slid seductively down his body, her hands trailing down his thighs. _'Shit!'_ he thought. _'I can't__take it anymore!' _His body trembled as she snaked her backside back up his body.

He clenched his jaw tightly. Her body was moving so perfectly…he knew how she'd move if he…_'NO! We're not here to get laid! She needs a friend!' _He knew it had to stop. He was about to hurt her…hurt Ellie…and he had to make it all stop.

They'd danced together a hundred times…sometimes just like this when they were alone at his old house where he'd lived with Tracker. But never with this much passion. It had to stop.

He leaned forward and whispered in her ear. "Em…you do that again, and-" he chuckled in surprise as her face turned to his, a dare in her eyes…just beneath the pain and fear.

"And what?" she murmured and kissed the tip of his nose. Once again, she pulled his hips to her rear and began easing herself down, feeling his hardness sliding against her. She trembled. She knew she was pushing too hard…going to far, but…

**  
This shit is bananas  
B-A-N-A-N-A-S  
**

Emma didn't have a chance to fix what she'd messed up. As soon as she slid back up, he groaned something in her ear. His lips dropped quickly to her neck, sucking gently.

"Sean!" she gasped. Her fingernails slid softly up his rib cage. It drove him crazy and she knew it, but her body just responded. Her hands reached the base of his neck…slid up to the spot where his hair joined his neck. Her nails rubbed his scalp in gentle circles as she dropped her head on his shoulder to give him more access to her neck. His head raised and she moaned sadly.

"What do you want from me, Em?" he murmured in her ear.

She thought for a moment. What DID she want? "More," she moaned softly as she pressed her body against his hardness.

He nodded and smiled. His lips fell on hers…along her jaw line…back to her neck. His hand left her hip and slid gently along her rib cage, making her nails plunge deeply into his hair. His lips found hers again as his hand slid gently under her bra.

"More, please," she begged softly.

"Em…"

few times I've been around that track  
so it's not just gonna happen like that  
'Cause I ain't no holla back girl  
I ain't no holla back girl

He wondered what in the hell he was thinking. They'd been down this road before and it never worked for them. Still, he couldn't stop his hands…his lips…he couldn't stop his heart from feeling for her. His fingers were massaging her breast softly. He felt her body arching to him. This was crazy…bananas…totally fucked up! Still…his other hand slid to her inner thigh…up…up…and he was gently rubbing her through her thin little panties.

Tears slid down her cheeks. She ground against his hand. "More…p-please!" she cried out against his lips.

He gently eased her panties aside, knowing this was fucked up. As his finger slid against her clitoris, moving in gentle circular motions, he knew he was fucking up his whole entire world, but it didn't matter. She was bucking her hips against him, crying out, begging for more…he said a silent _'I'm sorry, Ellie…we need this.'_

As his finger slid inside of her…out of her…into her…their worlds came crashing into one big fucked up mess again. But it didn't matter. Nothing mattered but giving each other what they needed to get through the night.

**ooh, this my shit , this my shit **

_lyrics for "Holla' Back Girl" by Gwen Stefani_


	3. Chapter 3: Mad About You

Chapter 3: Mad About You

"_Glad I found you, Emma."_

Emma whimpered, nipping gently at Sean's tongue.

"_You made my list."_

Sean moaned and pulled her closer to him, deepening the kiss.

"_It can't get any worse. I already shot someone."_

Her body trembled. She moaned louder. Sean knew what was happening. His finger began moving faster. "Let it go, Em. It's OK," he murmured softly.

"_Sean? Sean? Toby, go get help."_

Her body tensed, released and she let out a pained cry.

**Feel the vibe, feel the terror, feel the pain  
It's driving me insane  
I can't fake  
For god sakes why am I  
Driving in the wrong lane  
Trouble is my middle name**

Sean stopped, quickly turning her in his arms. He held her tightly. "Shit! I'm sorry! Did I hurt you?"

Her head, buried in his neck, shook, signaling a 'no'.

"Do you want me to take you home?" She shook her head 'no' again. "Do you want to sit down? I can get you-"

She looked up into his eyes, and her lips found his again and kissed him hard. Her hands slid back to his hair as she kissed him frantically. Sean remembered this sensation. Her kisses had ALWAYS left him aching…wanting…longing for more.

He broke the kiss, breathless. "Emma. Wait!" he groaned as her lips moved to his neck.

She pulled back with a hurt look on her face. "I'm…s-sorry," she whispered.

He took her chin in his hand and touched her lips softly. "We should talk," he whispered back. She nodded and he took her hand to lead her to somewhere more private.****

But in the end I'm not too bad  
Can someone tell me if it's wrong to be so mad about you  
Mad about you  
Mad

He led her to a room.

"W-Where are we?" she asked him softly.

"Jay's room. We…what's going on with us, Em? With you?" He sat on the bed, looking up at her with pleading eyes.

"I-I'm dead…inside," she mumbled softly.

Sean stared at her for a moment. He was scared. He felt the same way. "Em…you…I almost lost you today!" he ground out.

Emma hurried over and pulled his cheek to her stomach. "I almost lost you," she choked. "I can't…I feel…empty. I lost…I think I lost my soul."

He fought the urge…and lost the battle. His lips found the soft spot, just below her belly button. The butterfly kiss made her stomach quiver and she gasped. He couldn't stop. His lips touched her again, making her moan. His tongue flicked out as his lips made their way across the smooth expanse of her stomach, nipping gently at her hip, making her cry out. She pulled his head closer.

His hands slowly slid her skirt up while his mind begged her to make him stop. They'd never gone this far before. He'd never even done this with Ellie.

**  
Are you the fishy wine that will give me  
A headache in the morning  
Or just a dark blue land mine  
That'll explode without a decent warning  
**

He stopped kissing her stomach and looked up at her as if to ask her permission. She looked confused and hurt by his stopping. He moaned softly. "Tell me this is…OK," he whispered as his thumb massaged her clitoris.

She arched herself. "Please," she whispered.

That was all he needed. He slid her panties down her legs, careful not to scrape her burns. He asked again, and again, she whispered, "Please."

She whimpered and bucked her hips against his tongue, which had replaced his thumb. "God, Em! I want you," he groaned.

Emma tensed and cried out again, arching herself as his tongue slipped inside of her. "More," she moaned, pulling his head to her.

**Give me all your true hate  
And I'll translate it in our bed  
Into never seen passion, never seen passion  
That it why I am so mad about you  
Mad about you **

"SEAN!" she gasped loudly.

He couldn't stand it anymore. He stood up and began kissing her. "God! I love you so much!" he moaned against her lips as he pressed her against the wall and pinned her hands gently above her head. He slid his hands down her trembling arms and slid her shirt over her head. His lips placed passionate kisses down her neck as his teeth gently nipped at the soft skin, making her arch to him, feeling his hardness. His lips found her breasts, not bothering to remove the thin lace bra as his teeth nipped her gently, making her cry out and bury her hands in his hair.

He felt like he was drowning…and maybe he was…

**  
Mad about you  
Mad**

She slid her hands down his neck and over his body. She pulled his shirt over his head.

"Em…we can stop…if you…I won't make you."

"I know." Her lips dropped to his chest and it was suddenly her turn to be in control as he moaned, her teeth nipping gently at his nipples.

He didn't let himself wonder where she'd learned to drive him crazy like this. She'd been doing it for years. Suddenly, she was pushing him back until he was sitting on the bed. She straddled him and he took her hips grunting her name as she began moving to the rhythm of the song, blaring into the room from the noisy party outside.

'_Dear God…I'm going to drown in her!' _he thought as he plunged his hands into her hair and deepened the kiss.

He flipped her over onto her back, her legs opening to let him fit neatly between them as her fingers flitted up his sides and dug into his shoulders. His lips moved gently down her body, his tongue flicking out lightly here and there, making her arch to him and cry out. His tongue slipped inside of her again, and she cried his name.

He was only there a moment before he knelt above her to remove her skirt, which was now bunched around her waist like an out of place belt. "You're beautiful…Jesus!" he whispered as he slid back up her body to look into her eyes so she could see his honesty. "I forgot how…absolutely fucking gorgeous. Shit!"

**  
Trouble is your middle name  
But in the end you're not too bad  
Can someone tell me if it's wrong to be**

Emma pushed against him, flipping him over. She ground her naked body against his hips hard. He groaned and slid his hands across her back to unclasp her bra. Dropping it on the floor, he slid his hands under her arms and around her back to pull her to him. She began grinding against him harder as he began suckling her breasts.

The room was filled with the sounds of moans and grunts…panting and pleasure. Emma pushed him back on the bed and kissed him. Her lips made a fiery trail down his jaw…along his neck…stopping to nip his collar bone before flicking her tongue out as if she were trying to kiss the wound 'all better'. She continued her quest…dropping small kisses and nips, then flicking her tongue across the teeth marks…until she was at the top of his waistband. She frantically unhooked his belt.

"Em," he moaned as she undid his pants and started kissing lower. He groaned and grabbed her shoulders, pulling her back up. "No," he whispered against her lips. "You're too good for that."

She shook her head, her eyes full of tears, and he crushed her against him, kissing her. He flipped them back over so that she was underneath him as he kicked his legs free from his jeans and boxers.

"Yes, you are," he murmured as his lips found hers again. This moment wasn't about him…it was about her. He broke the kiss and knelt softly between her legs, kissing each burn, which was now rising into small blisters.

Her voice was shaky as she mumbled, "I don't want to be numb anymore," she choked out. Sean's resistance snapped and he went back to her, nudging her legs open more to give him more room. He kissed her hard, nipping her tongue.

**  
So mad about you  
Mad about you  
Mad**

"We're alive, dammit!" he shouted in anger as he plunged himself deeply into her.

His mind suddenly cleared, filled with horror, as he felt her body's resistance to his assault. It was as if time stood still. His eyes widened in shock as the resistance gave way and her eyes snapped open and she screamed out in terrified pain.

He'd known at once, but it had been too late…his motion had carried him too quickly. He'd driven himself into her for the first time. It was her first time. He froze. "No!" he muttered. "Emma! You were a…you've never…Oh, no!"

He tried to pull away, completely ashamed of himself. "I thought…I assumed…you and Chris…" He began pulling himself from her, but her legs wound around him tightly, locking his hips in place. Her fingernails dug deeply into his shoulders as she pulled him fully into her again, grinding herself in a circular motion and whimpering.

"Em, we have to-"

She began bucking her hips wildly against him, her head arching back into the pillow; each thrust making her whimper in pain. His heart broke.

"Emma, slow down. You're not ready."

"More…PLEASE," she cried out, panting, bucking her hips against him hard.

Sean groaned and grabbed her hips. "I'm sorry," he whispered, his tears dripping onto her cheeks, mingling with hers.

**  
Give me all your true hate  
And I'll translate it in your bed  
Into never seen passion  
That is why I am so mad about you**

His hands took her hips and he pulled away, slowly easing himself into her. "Let me make it at least decent for you."

She moaned and whimpered, shaking her head and fighting against his hands. She tried to force him to roll underneath her. "I'm sick of feeling dead!" she cried out loudly.

Sean sighed and kissed her hard. "I'm sorry, Baby," he murmured as he thrust himself into her hard, giving her what she wanted. Their movements were rough…frantic…he buried his head into her neck and silently cried in shame.

Soon, Emma was screaming his name, scratching his back. He felt her body tensing and knew she was going over the edge. His body ached from the frantic motion, but still, he thrust harder, giving himself to her, faster, until his cries were as loud as hers as he shouted out her name, spilling himself inside of her.

**  
Mad about you**

_lyrics for "Mad About You" by Hooverphonic (Thanks Jen…aka Ravinegirl128 for the awesome song!)_


	4. Chapter 4: Crash Into Me

Chapter 4: Crash Into Me

When it was all over, Sean rolled over, pulling Emma on top of him. His heart was racing, pounding painfully in his chest. He couldn't get over what had just happened. He hadn't MEANT to hurt Emma…least of all like this!

"Em…" he whispered softly, gently stroking her hair.

Emma just laid there in a fetal position…her legs tucked up against her chest and trembling. "Don't," she whimpered.

He dropped his hand, a new wave of guilt washing over him. "I'm sorry. I didn't…think. I didn't know…"

Emma slid herself so that she was lying next to him. She cupped his cheeks in her hands. "Don't…I'm begging you to stop. Don't apologize!"

"But why?"

Emma sighed sadly and sat up. "Because! Don't you get it? Every 'I'm sorry' means that it was a mistake…I was a mistake."

"Is that what you think?"

Emma nodded and curled herself into a ball, trembling. Sean sighed and grabbed a blanket from the floor, pulling it over them. "Em…I didn't mean it like that. You…I NEVER considered you a mistake."

"Then why are you sorry!" she cried out, sobbing.

He sighed sadly as he wrapped his arms around her waist to pull her against him. He kissed her cheek. "I just…it shouldn't have been like this…your first time."

Emma rolled over and buried her face into his neck. Sean hugged her tightly. "Your first time's SUPPOSED to be…soft and loving…not…not what we did."

"But…"

"No, Emma. It's supposed to be gentle and…"

"But I love you," she whispered sadly.

He kissed the top of her head. "I love you too."

"Then…it was perfect."

Sean groaned. "No! It was rushed and mean and horrible. It was full of hurt and pain. It was just us trying to get past hating Rick for what he did. I just…I hurt you, and I hurt Ellie."

Emma froze. "Ellie!" she gasped. "I didn't…I forgot…oh, Sean! I'm just like Manny!"

Sean lifted her chin and looked in her eyes. "No! Don't! Manny was being…you and I were…" he sighed. "You're NOT like Manny!"

Emma sat up. "You're right. I'm not. Because I'm going to do what she should have done. I'm going to let you go."

Sean tensed. "No! I…Em…I need you!"

She shook her head violently. "No…Ellie's been good for you. I can't wreck that."

He caught her wrist and pulled her back to the bed to sit down. "If you walk out there like this…" he lifted her chin. "I want to be with YOU," he whispered before kissing her lips softly. "Please? Just…it'll be weird at first, but…we'll figure it out."

Emma sighed and looked at her hands. This has been what she's wanted for ages, but…the memories of the glimpses of Ellie's arms flood through her mind. She shook her head, crying harder than ever. "No…we can't…hurt Ellie. She's been through too much."

Sean lifted her chin again, a sad smile playing on his lips. "That's one of the things I've missed about you. No matter HOW much you're hurting, you'll put that aside to make someone else happy." He frowned. "But what if I'M not happy?"

"Sean, you were happy…before today. You're just…confused right now. If we got back together, I'd end up making you mad…like I ALWAYS do, and…and then I'll get hurt again!"

Sean pulled her tightly against him. "No! Not this time! I swear! We've gone through too much-"

Emma shook her head sadly. "That's my point, Sean. Today was just…it was too much for us to comprehend. Once the shock wears off…we'll go right back-"

He cut her off with a soft kiss as they drifted back to the bed. When he pulled away, he put his forehead on hers. "Today reminded me of what I was giving up when I lost you. I don't want to lose you again."

"M-Me either," she choked out, her head falling on his chest. He pulled the blanket back over them and they slowly drifted off to sleep.

Deep into the night, they woke up, cuddled closely together. Sean kissed Emma, wrapping the blanket more tightly around them as if he could shelter them from the world outside the room. He promised himself that the next time they were together, he would be more gentle and loving. The next time he saw Ellie…he would have to break her heart. Emma was the one who he'd been meant to be with. He'd known it all along…it just took the shooting to remind him.

"I love you."

Emma smiled softly. "I love you too."


	5. Chapter 5: Wake Up Calls

Chapter 5: Wake Up Calls

The house was completely silent, and Sean and Emma were sleeping peacefully in their cocoon when pounding on the front door broke the stillness. Sean jumped up and began quickly searching for their discarded clothing. "Honey, wake up," he murmured softly, trying not to scare her.

Still, Emma jumped with a yelp as the pounding started again. Her eyes were terrified and Sean sat next to her, cupping her face in his and kissing her softly. "It's OK, Em. We just have to hurry up and go. The cops are busting up the party."

Emma yawned and began getting dressed quickly. Sean checked the window for police lights. When he saw that the street was empty, he sighed and turned to Emma. "OK…I get caught here, I'm busted. Probation," he muttered, slipping his wife beater over his shoulders. She nodded without hesitation.

"Let's go," she whispered softly, kissing the tip of his nose.

Sean watched her slip expertly out the window and sighed as he let himself out and closed the window quietly behind him. Emma, he realized, was already showing signs of changing, and he didn't know whether to be pleased or disturbed.

They hurried down the street. Once they were out of sight of Jay's house, Emma turned to Sean with a look of pure exhilaration. She hugged Sean tightly, laughing excitedly. "I can't believe I just had to run from a party being busted up by the cops!"

Sean smiled and nodded. "You did pretty good. Now…let's get you home."

Emma's lips pursed into a pout. "Home? We…I have to go home?"

Sean nodded and kissed her quickly before taking her hand. "Yeah. I…I need to get home myself."

Emma nodded and hurried along next to Sean. He stood outside her window, cupping her face in his hands and kissing her deeply. "I'll…we'll make this work, OK?"

Emma nodded and looked into his eyes wanting to believe him, but still too afraid to believe. "Just…no matter…no matter what…I love you, OK?"

Sean smiled softly, pressing his lips to hers again. "I love you too."

He watched her sneak inside and hurried off. His mind was filled with memories of kissing and touching Emma. He forced the bad thoughts from his mind. Next time…it would be perfect for her. He frowned, wondering how he would break the news to Ellie. He HAD to. Emma was perfect for him. Ellie was great, but Emma…she'd given him something that no one else had. Emma had given him her virginity, and that was a HUGE deal for her. Sean knew that.

He hurried to his apartment and slipped the key into the lock. He took a deep breath and opened the front door. Ellie was standing on the other side, her face full of fear. Tears poured down her cheeks and she flung herself into his arms.

"I was so worried about you!" she cried into his neck.

Sean sighed sadly and touched her hair before setting her away from him. "Ell…I…we need to talk, but…right now I just want to get some sleep." He kissed her cheek. "I'm gonna' take a shower and hit the hay. Night."

Ellie watched him go. She frowned, wondering where he'd been. She'd called his cell phone several times with nothing but his voice mail. She'd called Jay's house and heard Jay shouting over the music that he wasn't Sean's keeper and hadn't seen him for hours. Ellie wondered if 'for hours' meant since school that day or if his party had been raging for so long that Jay had lost track of him.

She sat at the kitchen table and sighed sadly as Bueller scurried on top of the table and nuzzled her nose. "Hey, Bueller Buddy," she mumbled sadly. "So…where do YOU think Sean was last night?"

Of course, being unable to speak, the ferret made a comforting cooing sort of purring noise. Ellie smiled and lifted him up. "You always make me feel better. You know that, right?"

He made the noise again and Ellie sighed and carried him to the bedroom. Later that morning, she awoke to realize Sean hadn't come to bed. She sighed and got up to look for him. There, sound asleep on the fold up bed was Sean and Bueller. Ellie glared at the ferret.

"Traitor," she muttered teasingly. She leaned down to kiss Sean's cheek and he let out a frightened cry.

"No! Emma!"

Ellie frowned and gasped, pulling away. Sean sat bolt right in the bed. He gasped, and tried to steady his breathing. "Ellie?" he asked as his mind cleared. "What…uhhh…You're up early."

Ellie shrugged. "We've got lunch today with my mom, remember?"

Sean frowned. "I…I'm not really in the mood to sit across from her today…"

"Sean! You promised!"

"Yeah…I did…before…before…" he couldn't bear to finish the sentence. "Look," he mumbled. "Tell her I'm sorry, but-"

"Sean!" Ellie's voice rose to a fevered, frightened pitch. "You promised! I can't do this alone! I can't…this is the first lunch with her since Mom went into rehab! You-"

"I said I can't, dammit!" Sean shouted. He instantly felt guilty and softened his tone. "Emma almost…she almost died yesterday. I almost died yesterday. Don't you get that? Don't you see that?" He sighed. "Ell, I just…I can't go…please don't ask me again."

Ellie's lip trembled. Sean could see her visibly holding back tears, but he knew if he hugged her, she'd worm her way into making him go with her. He frowned. Why hadn't he noticed that she could be just as manipulative as all the other girls…just like Paige when she outed Ashley from her little 'prom queen posse' just because she'd gone as far as to accept a date from a loser like him? Ellie began to look like Paige in his eyes. He frowned and shook the thought free. Ellie wasn't Paige. Ellie was Ellie…and she was just as freaked by the shooting as anyone else who hadn't been there. Only Sean, Emma, Toby, and Jimmy could know what that hell had been like…and Rick would be the only one who couldn't tell the tale…unless Jimmy…but no. Ellie wasn't Paige. Ellie was Ellie.

He shook his head and sighed sadly. Ellie was too weak to take care of herself…and Sean wasn't in the right frame of mind to be her rock like he was just a few days ago. She was going to slip over the edge with Sean around.

He thought about Emma, and how she'd reacted to sneaking out of Jay's the night before. She'd seemed to feel filled with electricity…she'd felt alive. Sean plopped down on the edge of the bed. Was he going to drive HER over the edge too? Would they BOTH go insane because of him?

"Ell…we'll talk when you get home. Go."

Ellie gaped at him, her face filling with anger as she snapped her lips closed. She swallowed hard, and Sean realized that the tears were just an act. She glared at him a moment before opening her mouth again. "Fine. I tried…I'm trying…yeah, I don't get it, OK? I don't know what to do to make you feel better. I mean…God, Sean! You lived! The only person that died was some freak that your little buddy Emma and her pals tried to get thrown out of school. So…if there's ANYONE to blame for this fiasco it's Emma!"

She studied Sean, who was wincing. "Don't! Don't EVER talk like that about her! She's…she didn't know this would happen!"

"Are you sure? I mean…REALLY sure? Who ELSE do you know that could push someone into shooting up the school?" Ellie felt instant guilt, but she was too mad to care at the moment. She frowned. "Y-You…Oh, God! You still like her!"

Sean turned away, walking to the bathroom. "This conversation's over! Just…when do you plan on being home?"

"Why?" she pushed. "Plan on bringing her here for an afternoon of-"

Sean sighed. "Shut up, Ell." He regretted his harshness, and hated that Ellie was the one he'd said it to, but he couldn't give in. "I just…we have to talk…later…and I don't want to do this now."

"Oh, that's REAL nice! As usual, we talk when YOU want to talk. Tell you what. You can talk to yourself for the afternoon…maybe for the night. Maybe it's YOUR turn to wait up for ME." She slammed the door hard, rattling it on the hinges.

Sean sighed. What the hell had just happened?


	6. Chapter 6: Sick Of Me

Chapter 6: Sick Of Me

Ellie and Ashley sat on Ashley's couch pretending to watch a movie…though neither one could have told someone asking what they were watching. Ashley was too busy studying her friend…trying to read her…as Ellie was busily popping the rubber band on her wrist and staring off into space as she tried to figure out what was going on with Sean.

"So…how was lunch with your mom today?"

Ellie stopped snapping the band as her eyes cleared. She turned to Ashley with a half smile. "Hmmm? It was OK, I guess. I mean, it could have been worse. At least she was sober."

Ashley nodded. "Good." Ellie smiled and looked away again, making Ashley frown and roll her eyes. "OK…what is it?"

Ellie shrugged and turned back to Ashley, tears filling her eyes as she began the rhythmic snapping of her rubber band again. "Ash…how did you…" her voice cracked, she sighed and cleared her throat, trying again. "How did you know that Craig was cheating on you?"

Ashley frowned. "I didn't. Remember? I didn't find out until I saw Manny with the bracelet I thought Craig bought for either me or Angie."

"Oh, yeah. Guess I forgot," Ellie mumbled.

"What's this about?" Her frown turned into a look of shock. "You can't seriously think Sean's cheating! I've never seen two people more suited to each other than-"

"Sean and Emma, right?" Ellie sighed sadly.

"I didn't say that!"

"No, but you were thinking it." Ellie took a deep breath. "He…disappeared last night, and didn't come home until early this morning."

Ashley shrugged. "So? He was probably hanging out with Jay."

Ellie nodded. "Yeah. I thought that too, but when I called…Jay said he hadn't seen him for hours. And it was another couple of hours before he showed back up."

"Ever thought that maybe Jay was lying?" Ashley asked with a shrug. "It's not like it would be the first time Jay Hogart lied to cover for someone."

"Yeah, but if he was just at a party at Jay's, then why would he even _need _a cover?"

Ashley sighed. "Ellie…a lot happened yesterday. More than either of us will ever probably even realize, let alone understand. If you give him time, I'm sure it'll get better."

Ellie smiled at her friend. "Thanks." She hugged Ashley. "I'm sure you're right."

Ashley opened her mouth to say something, but footsteps on the stairs caused her words to freeze in her throat. Both girls looked up to see Toby walking downstairs. "Hey, Toby? Can we…talk?" Ashley asked hopefully.

He looked up and glared at her. "Why? Are you going to bash me too?"

Ashley frowned. "Why would I bash you?"

"Gee, I don't know!" he spat. "Maybe to tell me how stupid I am for hanging out with a psycho like Rick?"

Ashley sighed sadly. "Toby…I'm sorry, OK? I was upset. I mean…he shot Jimmy. Why? I just don't get it is all. Jimmy's a great guy! He was one of the few people at Degrassi that decided that Rick was worth sticking up for. I just don't get it!"

"And you think I do?" Toby shouted angrily. "You think I like the fact that someone I liked shot someone who was almost like a brother to me? You think I want to wonder what would have…crap, Ash! Jimmy and Emma had seen what I saw, and he tried to kill them! I was his best friend…but how do I know he wouldn't have shot me too?"

"Oh, Toby! I'm sorry!" Ashley hurried over to hug him.

Toby stiffened in her arms for a moment before his anguish took over and his body sagged into Ashley's. "If I hadn't made friends with him, maybe he'd have given up and found a new school to torture. Maybe-"

"Toby…you can't blame yourself. It's no one's fault," Ellie murmured as a realization came to her. "It's not Jimmy's fault or Emma's fault or yours…and maybe it's not even Rick's fault. We…no one knows what his family life was like. Probably not even you, and you were his best friend."

Ashley nodded. "And even if you had, what could you have done? You…you said he went to Raditch…"

Ellie shrugged. "And we all saw what was happening. We just ignored it. Hell, I just figured that, even though Emma and Paige were right about getting him out of school, that it wasn't my problem to worry about."

Toby sighed and shoved his hands deeply into his pockets. "I tried. I tried to make people stop."

Ashley nodded as she studied the split in his lip. It was the one Jay had administered the day before by smacking Toby's head and knocking him into the water fountain. It red scab stood out brightly against the white outer bit of new skin, which was surrounded by a ring of purplish colored bruising.

"It's obvious you tried. But…if he was such a good friend…why didn't he back off and go somewhere else when he saw what they were doing to you?"

Toby sighed harshly, rolling his eyes. "Ash…if this had been you…and someone was gunning for Terri or Ellie or Paige, would you have backed off? He was my friend. He might have been crazy…but he was my friend!"

Ashley sat next to Ellie on the couch as Toby turned and left the room. "There's no getting through to him!"

Ellie shrugged. "What do you expect? It's not like Toby has a lot of friends. Manny…well, Manny is Manny. Emma's so wrapped up in her environmental save the world crusade that she didn't even have time for her boyfriend. And JT hangs out with Liberty's freaky little brother now."

Ashley nodded. "JT and Danny are more compatible than JT and Toby anyway," she muttered.

Ellie shook her head. "No…friends are just friends. I hate to say it, but look at Emma and Manny. Emma is weird. She's strong and independent…"

"And Manny's a slut," Ashley interjected.

Ellie shrugged. "Maybe so, but Craig's just as much at fault. He didn't have to cheat with her."

Ashley's head dropped. "Can we talk about something else?"

Ellie nodded and stared blankly at the TV again. After a moment, she muttered absently. "So…you think I'm just imagining things? You don't think Sean has feelings for Emma anymore?"

Ashley groaned, flopping her head against the back of the couch to stare at the ceiling. "Of course he does, Ellie! You can't act so…look. You still have feelings for Marco."

Ellie blushed. "I do not!"

Ashley rolled her eyes. "Liar. So…yeah. You found out he was gay, but you pretended for a really long time that you two were a couple." Ashley shrugged. "All that pretending was pretty well played off for someone who doesn't care."

"I didn't say I didn't care about Marco! We're best friends!"

Ashley nodded. "So, it's OK for you to still have feelings for Marco. So why can't Sean have feelings for Emma? He's known her longer…hell, they dated off and on for almost three years! Ellie, they're bound to feel _something _for each other. So they don't hate each other? So what?"

Ellie sighed and stared at her shirt, which was now being twisted tightly in her hands. "I just keep wondering…if it were me…instead of Emma…would he have jumped between Rick and me to save me?"


	7. Chapter 7: Don't Play That Song

Chapter 7: Don't Play That Song

Emma was lying on her bed, now clad in pajamas, and staring at the ceiling. The slight ache in her lower body made a flush rise to her cheeks as she thought of the night she'd spent with Sean. When she heard a light knock on her bedroom door, she took a shaky breath and stood up, walking nervously to her door. She wished it were Sean on the other side with news that he'd ended things with Ellie, but she knew it wouldn't be. She opened the door to her mother's frowning face.

"Emma? Why did you lock your door?"

Emma shrugged and started back down the steps. "Guess…maybe last night made me a bit…freaked, I guess," she murmured. It wasn't a total lie. When Sean had brought her home, she'd changed and tried to unlock the door, but she couldn't bring herself to do it. Fear had gripped her, and she left it locked.

Spike sighed. "I'm sorry, Em," she murmured sadly as she sat down next to Emma on her bed. She draped her arm around Emma's shoulders. "I know yesterday must have been scary."

Emma sighed and nodded. "Yeah," she said, trying to control her wobbly voice. "I…it won't happen again."

Spike sighed. "If you need to lock your door for a while…if it helps you sleep…then you should do it. For a while anyway."

Emma hugged Spike as tears flooded her eyes. "Thanks, Mom," she whispered softly.

The radio was softly playing in the background. The song "Just Jane" came on and Emma gasped, pulling away from her mother sharply as the color rose in her cheeks.

"What is it, Honey?"

Emma shook her head and shut off the radio. "I just…I just don't want to hear this song right now."

Spike frowned in confusion for a moment before the realization hit her. "Oh, Em! This was the song that you and Sean…it was your first kiss at mine and Snake's wedding!"

"Mom…we'd kissed before," Emma muttered, embarrassed.

Spike smiled softly. "On the cheek. I'm your mom…we share. Remember?" Emma nodded and stared at her hands. "Emma…I know you're probably pretty confused about your feelings right now. Sean was your first boyfriend. He broke your heart when he dumped you because you didn't like his new friends. He stole Snake's laptop to get back at you for hurting him by not understanding about his new buddies. And then yesterday, after nothing more than small talk here and there, he saves your life. It must be-"

Emma shook her head, effectively cutting off her mother's words. "No…I know how I feel. It's the same way I've felt all along." Emma sat down, blushing furiously. "I love him, Mom. I tried to hide it…maybe I did a good job so far…but now I can't."

Emma stood up and went to the stairs. "I need to walk."

"Emma! You're still in your pajamas!"

Emma shrugged. "I'll put on my coat…no one will notice."

Meanwhile…

Sean hung up the phone and flopped angrily back on the bed. He'd just called Ellie…tried to make amends for this morning, and at first, she'd seemed willing to listen…until he'd mentioned Emma. Ellie had shouted at him and hung up. So much for being diplomatic!

He turned on the radio and went to the refrigerator to find the last piece of pie that he'd left in there the morning before. He opened the refrigerator and leaned inside when the song changed to "Just Jane". Sean sighed and slammed the refrigerator closed. He didn't need this right now!

He went to the radio and angrily snapped it off. Memories of the night before flooded through his mind as he flopped his body into a kitchen chair in defeat. He put his head in his hands as the thought of the taste of Emma's kisses filled his head. He groaned sadly as his body began to respond.

"I need a walk," he told the empty room. He grabbed his keys and his hoody and stalked out the door.

Not knowing where to go, Sean just began walking. He knew that he couldn't go to Emma's yet. Not until he settled things with Ellie. It wouldn't be right…even if the urge was nearly flooring him.

He sighed and decided to go to Jay's. He'd probably need help cleaning up the mess from the party the night before, and Sean figured that scrubbing chip dip from the ceilings and guacamole from the carpeting would be just what he needed to get his mind off his problems.

Why in the hell was this so damned difficult! He wanted to be with Emma…he WANTED Emma…he needed her. Sean sighed, his body trembling as memories of holding her deep in the night drifted through his mind. Just a few hours before, they'd been together…she'd given herself to him…dug her fingernails into his shoulders as she cried his name…Sean shook his head sharply. He had to stop thinking like that! Even if Ellie ever _did _come home to give him the chance to end things with her…that didn't mean Emma would be willing to do anything with him again for a while. Sean realized he was fine with that…not happy…but he'd deal.

He knocked on the door. Jay answered, his shirt off…his jeans unbuttoned. Sean frowned. "Oh! Sorry, Man. I didn't know…"

Jay laughed raspily from too many cigarettes the night before. He began a long stringed coughing fit…doubling over as Sean clapped a worried hand on his back. "You OK, Man?"

Jay nodded as he spat something on the ground, making Sean cringe a bit, imagining the other boy's lung flopping out onto the porch at his feet. "I'm cool," he finally rasped. "You and Green Peace missed a hell of a party!"

Sean flushed. "We had…some things to hash out."

Jay nodded, a knowing grin spreading across his tired face. "Yeah. I saw."

Sean frowned. "What the hell are you-"

"Next time you deflower a virgin in someone else's bed…be sure to change the sheets."

Sean blushed. "Shut up, Man."

Jay laughed again. "Here for clean up?"

Sean nodded. "Yeah…what needs done?"

Jay shrugged as a blonde that Sean didn't recognize walked out of a spare bedroom wearing nothing but a hoody that barely covered her rear. Not that it mattered. She walked right up to Jay and as he kissed her, he grabbed himself a handful of her butt, pulling the material up high enough for Sean to see that she was nude underneath as Jay pulled the girl against his groin. She moaned and Jay laughed. Sean could only gape for a moment before his lips snapped shut in a tight frown. There they were, right in front of Sean…and anyone else who happened to be walking by the open door…practically screwing each other! He shook his head, wondering where Alex was.

Jay set the girl aside and patted her rear as she left the room with a giggle. "Now…where were we?"

Sean sighed. "What the fuck was that, Man? Are you trying to wreck things with Alex?"

Jay shrugged. "She was too _'emotionally distraught'_," he muttered with an eye roll as he made quotation marks in the air with his fingers. He shrugged. "I had an itch…and Trish scratched it." He laughed and touched his shoulder with a hand. "Oh…DAMN, did she scratch it!"

Sean sighed and shoved past Jay. "What needs to be done."

"Well…first you can tell me how in the hell you got into my room…locked it…and got out."

Sean shrugged. "Who said it was me?"

Jay laughed. "The sheets, Man. The sheets bare your shame."

Sean spun angrily. "Who says I'm ashamed?"

Jay shrugged. "You're a wuss, Bam-Bam. You screwed Little Miss Save The World last night." He wiggled his brows. "From the looks of it, you guys fucked each other's brains out. What the hell was it like to have those little legs wrapped around you, Man? I'll bet that little prude is a freak in the sack!"

"Fuck off, Hogart! It wasn't like that!"

Jay laughed. "What did Ellie think? I mean…I know you. You don't have the balls to hide it from her…since you love her and all."

"What the hell needs done, Jay? I'm here to clean…not get commentary from the guy who just balled some random bitch at a party!"

Jay rolled his eyes. "Fine. Whatever, Man. First things first. Take your virginity-stealing ass to my room and strip the sheets. You remember where the laundry room is, right?"

Sean nodded and left the room.


	8. Chapter 8:The Patron Saint Of Liars

Chapter 8: The Patron Saint of Liars and Fakes

"Sure you don't need a lift?" Jay asked as Sean headed for the front door. He turned to look at Jay, quickly turning away with a frown at the sight of Trish settling herself onto Jay's lap.

"Nah, Man. Fresh air will do me good."

"Yeah, and my guess is that a certain little tree hugger is thinking the same thing," he muttered with a snicker and an eye roll.

Sean rolled his eyes. "Whatever, Guy. See you around. I'm out."

He started to walk out when Jay stopped him. "Hey, Bam-Bam! Party tonight…bringin' a friend?"

Sean shrugged. "Doubt I'll be here. Figure I need to talk to Ellie." He rolled his eyes. "This oughtta' be a blast!"

Jay laughed and shook his head. "What? Afraid Mommy won't forgive you?"

"Dunno…would Alex forgive you for that?" Sean asked, pointing an accusing finger at Trish.

"Are you kidding? Have you met Alex? I'm not stupid enough to tell her…I like being pretty!"

Sean snickered. "Pretty? Nah…I'd say pretty ugly." He sighed. "Alex is gonna' kill you. You know that, right?"

"She can't kill me if she don't know…and she won't know…cause then Ellie will know…you know?" Jay asked with a threatening smirk spreading over his lips.

Sean just shrugged and rolled his eyes. "Well, at least she might be a little more understanding. She knows Em and me have history…and last night was just…just bizarre."

Jay nodded, rolling his eyes. "Uh-huh…my guess is that Green Peace was just-"

Sean spun around, suddenly angry. "Why, Jay? Why in the fuck couldn't you guys leave it alone?"

Jay frowned. "Look, Man. Even you said Spin and I needed to pay him back for tagging our cars like that. Don't go all fucking soft-"

"Soap the fucker's house windows or something, Man! Public humiliation…dumping a bucket of yellow paint and then feathers on him on public TV…just because he spray painted an 'X' on your cars? What the hell was that?"

"Hey! You-"

Sean shook his head. "I said to get payback. Ever heard of an eye for an eye? Don't dish out worse than you got."

"What is this? Church?"

He rolled his eyes. "Gee…who'd have guessed you ever read a Bible!"

Jay just cackled and clapped Sean on the back. "Now you're getting it!"

"Getting what?" Sean asked in confusion.

Jay rolled his eyes. "Never mind. So…you leaving or what?"

Sean shrugged. "Guess I am." He turned to leave, but Jay followed.

"You're no better than me…you know that, right?"

"What?"

"You cheated…just like me."

Sean shook his head furiously. "It wasn't like that!"

"Oh, so what? You gonna' tell me you love Green Peace now?"

He shook his head. "No…I'm gonna' tell you that I love Emma Nelson!"

Jay laughed as if it were the funniest thing he'd ever heard. "Dude…she's got you whipped! Again!"

Sean sighed. "I wouldn't expect you to get it."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"It means…I always loved her. I kept telling myself I didn't deserve her."

"And now?"

"Yesterday…despite everything I've ever done to her…she loved me. She loves me. In that one gun flash, we deserved each other."

"And what about Ellie?"

Sean sighed sadly. "I…I don't know. I…I love her, but it's different. She accepts me for me, which is cool."

"And Gre…errr…Emma?"

"She accepts me…but she pushes me to be…she sees the me I want to be."

"So what are you gonna' do? Emma won't be the other woman…hell…even I know that!"

Sean nodded. "Yeah. And I don't want her to be. We've always been honest. To lie now would make it all useless."

"And I repeat…what are you gonna' do?"


	9. Chapter 9: One Wish

Chapter 9: One Wish

_Lyrics by Ray J_

**Damn baby  
Just don't understand where we went wrong  
I gave you my heart  
I gave you my soul  
I gave you...**

Sean walked down the street, staring at his feet as he tried to figure out what to do. Emma was his first love. Yesterday had been the first time he'd ever said the words out loud to her. Sure, in grade seven, when her mother was going to marry her step dad, Manny had figured out his secret and tried to make things right.

Sean smirked. Damned JT! He'd blown it for Sean that day. It was the first time since Ashley's party that anyone had seen any emotion from him when it involved Emma.

"_Mr. Simpson? When did you first realize that you were really in love?"_

Sean rolled his eyes. Manny…the ruthless romantic! Sean couldn't remember what JT had said after that…something or other about love being for suckers, or something to that effect.

_He leaned his cheek casually on his palm. "Sounds like someone's never been in love."_

_Manny eyed Sean with a smirk. "Oh! And you have? With who? Could it be…Emma Nelson?"_

What was he supposed to say? He wasn't about to lie and say no. Somehow, it seemed like that would spoil everything, so he'd done what he did best. He'd turned away and pretended not to hear her. But it was too late. Manny had caught the slip up and invited him to Emma's parents' wedding…then been forced to uninvite him when Emma found out. But he'd been invited again…

"_Sean…I did something really stupid, and now I'm afraid that they're isn't even going to be a wedding, and everyone's going to hate me."_

"_You? Butting in? It's nothing new. Has anyone ever hated you for it?"_

"_Maybe…behind my back."_

"_No. Never."_

"_Not even you? After what I did?"_

"_Never. Look…it sucked. But Manny shouldn't have invited me."_

"_No, she shouldn't have. I should have. Sean…if there IS a wedding, the party starts at three."_

_Emma turned and walked away, and Sean just had to see her face again…know that she was really there. Only one thing came to mind. "Emma? What happened to your hair?"_

Sean smirked as he thought of Emma's reaction. Most girls would have touched their hair or blushed and stammered some stupid excuse about changing shampoos rather than admit that their mother had forgotten to take the perm solution from her hair because she was too freaked about the pregnancy test that she still held in her hands. But not Emma. Emma had just given him a stern look that said, 'Don't start!' She never made a sound as she gave him that look and pointed her finger at him. She silently turned and walked away, and Sean had found another thing to love about her. Emma had made him her number one when she was stressed out and needed a friend.

In fact, Emma had given him a lot of reasons over the few years he'd known her to love her. She stuck by him…even when he screwed up.

"_Sean? Sean! Are you drunk? Where'd you get that?"_

"_Our host…Jimmy Brooks."_

She'd tried to take the bottle from him, but it had shattered to the floor after a short game of keep away. Jimmy had thrown him out. Emma had gone with him. She sat next to him on the guardrail while he puked, making sure he didn't fall over the rail. He'd told her she should leave him. He was nothing but a loser.

"_Is that what you want, Sean? Do you WANT me to call you a big, stupid loser?"_

She'd asked him…but she'd never called him one either. The only insult she'd thrown his way, in all the years they'd known each other…

"_Fine! And tomorrow at lunch? You can go hang out with those losers."_

"_I will! Cause at least they're fun!"_

"_Fun? And you? You're pathetic!"_

But he couldn't really blame her for that. He'd pushed her too hard that day. Emma had been dealing with so much. Her step dad had cancer…which made him sick and grouchy…and left her to care for Jack. Instead of understanding when date after date had been disrupted, Sean just got madder and madder. That day, he'd tried to kiss her and Kendra walked in. Emma wasn't one for public displays of affection, and she'd freaked out and hurried off in shame. She'd tried to talk to him, but he flipped and called her uptight.

"_Emma Nelson…environmentalist…babysitter…a nurse!"_

"_Snake has cancer, Sean."_

"_Yeah! I heard!"_

Why couldn't he just have been more understanding? None of this would be happening right now. Sean would still be with Emma…Rick wouldn't have gotten the wrong idea and fell for her because she'd be with Sean…no one would have died…

Sean frowned as a creaking sound filled the air. He looked up to see that he was walking past the park. He realized that it must be the squeak of metal on metal from the chain on the swing sets. Glancing over, he stopped walking and watched in amazement as the thin blonde swung herself higher and higher into the air. Her hair glistened in the afternoon sun as the wind pulled it over her shoulders with each forward swing…and back over her face with each backward swing. He stood there, mesmerized, as he watched her legs pump back and forth, carrying her tall lanky body higher and higher into the air. He chuckled and shook his head, loving this side of her…and secretly hoping that nothing would ever take it away.

**If I had one wish, we would be best friends  
Love would never end, it would just begin  
If I had one wish, you would be my boo  
Promise to love you, trust me I'll trust you  
If I had one wish, we would run away  
Making love all day, have us a baby  
If I had one wish, I'd make you my whole life  
And you'd be my wife, make it right this time**

"Having fun?" he asked as he slowly slid up behind her and leaned against the frame of the steel swing.

Emma's eyes snapped open in surprise. Her feet hit the dirt, slowing her down. "H-Hey," she murmured shyly.

"I see you're swinging…is it fun?"

Emma smiled softly. She pointed to the swing next to hers. "You tell me."

Sean chuckled and sat next to her, swinging softly. "So…"

"So…"

"What were you thinking about?"

Emma blushed. "I…I…" she stammered before finally whispering, "last night."

Sean nodded. "Me too," he replied honestly. "Well, that and some other stuff." He frowned, suddenly taking in the sight of her. "Em…why are you still in your pajamas?"

She shrugged. "Didn't feel like getting changed."

Sean stopped his swing and stood behind her, pushing her gently. "Aren't you cold?"

"Not really. Sort of…I don't know. Just…not cold."

"Still…where's your coat?"

"Home." She was soon helping Sean, and her swing rose higher and higher into the air. "Are you sure…I mean…you love Ellie. Maybe I'm being selfish."

Sean sighed and walked around to the front of the swing and grabbing the sides to stop it. "What are you saying? You don't want to be with me?"

Emma shrugged and stood up. "Not…not if it means hurting someone," she murmured sadly and started to walk away, but Sean caught her arm.

"A lot of things happened last night, and I think we should talk. Really talk."

Emma sighed and followed him to a patch of grass. They lay on their backs, and Sean took her hand. "I love you, Em. You know that, right?"

Emma nodded and sighed. "I know."

"And you love me," he said, stating it as a fact rather than asking. She nodded. "Then we'll make it work. We'll…as soon as Ellie comes back tomorrow, I'll talk to her."

"She's gonna' be hurt."

Sean nodded. "I know…but…I can't stop that."

Emma smirked. "I'm in the mood for ice cream."

Sean laughed and kissed her cheek. "You say the weirdest stuff at the weirdest times. You know that, right?" he muttered as he stood up. "You stay right here. Two strawberry cones…coming right up!"

Emma lay there as Sean walked away. When he returned, he frowned and rolled his eyes. "Em! Why are you laying there with the sprinklers going?"

Emma smirked and opened one eye, soaked through. Her teeth chattered slightly, but she still chuckled. "You said to stay right here."

Sean laughed and rolled his eyes. "Get up, you freak!"

**Now tell me is this the only way I can get you right back in  
If so then searchin' I'll go, then I can have you for sho  
Then you'll be loving me, holding me, kissing me  
So girl don't tell me what I'm feeling is make believe  
I swear if I lose a second chance with you  
I wouldn't know what to do  
I'd probably check myself into some kind of clinic  
I couldn't be alone because without you I'm sick**


	10. Chapter 10: When We Make Love

Chapter 10: When We Make Love

_Lyrics by Alabama_

**There's a light, in your eyes tonight.  
You know I know that look anywhere.  
You got plans, and I'm one lucky man.  
Before we get so carried away,  
There's just something I've been wanting to say.  
**

Sean paced around his apartment that night, trying to forget his afternoon with Emma. Why in the hell did he feel so damned guilty?! It's not like he wasn't planning on breaking up with Ellie anyway…still, the memory of this afternoon made his heart flutter…and his stomach hurt.

_He swallowed hard, trying not to stare. "Em…you dripped some ice cream," he murmured as his finger slipped across her chest, dangerously close to her breast, making her tremble._

"_Oh! Ummm…thanks," she whispered as his finger slipped into his mouth. His eyes never left hers._

"_I want to kiss you, Em," he murmured softly._

"_W-We really shouldn't. Not until…" she sighed. "Sean…I can't be your other girl."_

_Sean nodded, but he pressed his lips to hers as he pressed her back into the grass, covering her body with his._

He flopped down on the sofa, listening to the phone ring. He glanced at the clock and realized that it was too late to be Ellie or Emma.

"_Hey! You've reached the Cameron/Nash abode," _came Ellie's voice over the answering machine. Sean rolled his eyes. She'd insisted on making this stupid tape, when all he'd wanted was a simple, "Yeah…not home…speak." Ellie wanted this, and he'd wanted so badly to make her happy…_"We're not available to take your call right now. Could be home…but maybe not. Anyway…if you're calling for Sean or me, leave a message. If you're calling for Bueller…you've got issues. Take two pills and call back later!" _Her chuckle filled the air just before the machine beeped.

"Hey, Bam-Bam! Where are you? You're missing a hell of a party, you know! Oh! Did you and your girl make up? Makeup sex is _always _the best sex, aint' it? Oh! Yeah…guess I'll leave you two at it then. Call me later."

Sean rolled his eyes and stood up. He needed a shower. He needed to think.

**When we make love  
It's more to me than just an affair  
I want you to know how much I care  
When we make love  
Oh it's such a precious time  
We share our hearts, our souls and our minds...  
When we make love  
**

"Just a sec!" he called as he stepped out of the shower and wrapped a towel around his waist. He hurried to the door and yanked it open. "Em?"

Emma swallowed hard and tried to look away. "Ummm…yeah. I…I thought maybe we could hang out…since…since…" she sighed as the blush crept up her neck and splashed across her cheeks. "I thought we could watch a movie or something. But I can see that you're-"

Sean caught her hand as she turned to leave. "Wait, Em. Come on in. Just let me get changed."

Emma nodded, staring at the floor as he shut the door and hurried into the room. A few minutes later, he came out wearing jeans and a white wife beater. He smiled. "Take it you changed the pajamas."

Emma blushed, staring down at her lavender sweats with matching hoodie. "Ummm…yeah. I took a shower to get all the ice cream off."

"Mmmmhmmm…makes sense."

Emma sighed. "Sean…I'm sorry. I shouldn't be here."

Sean shrugged and took her hand, leading her to the couch. "How about pizza and a movie?"

Emma nodded nervously. "Sounds…sounds good."

Sean sighed. "We've known each other forever, Em! You know I wouldn't do anything to hurt you. Don't be afraid of me, please."

Emma shook her head with a small smile. "I'm not afraid of you. I'm afraid of me."

"Huh?"

**Watching you make your little moves  
Well I can tell it's gonna' be a long night  
All day long, we keep holding on  
It couldn't be any better than this  
I got it all in my fingertips  
**

They've been sitting on the couch, eating pizza and talking, the movie in the background forgotten.

"I don't know how you…is it hard to live on your own?"

Sean shrugged. "Sometimes. I mean…yeah, the student welfare helped, but it's not that easy when you're the only one paying the bills."

"Doesn't Ellie help?"

Sean nodded. "Oh, yeah. Her mom sends half the rent, but since she's not working, I still have to make up the difference with all the utilities."

"Can't you ask Mrs. Nash for help with that?"

Sean frowned. "No. I don't want a damned thing from her. The rent thing was Ellie's idea."

"Oh."

Sean sighed and dropped his pizza back in the box. "What's this all about, Em? Why all the questions?"

Emma shrugged and smiled softly. "Just small talk, I guess."

Sean nodded. "Oh. But…why are you really here?"

"To apologize for last night. To give you an out, I guess. You love her, Sean. She loves you, and I don't think it's fair for me to-"

"Who ever said life was easy…or fair?"

Emma chuckled sadly. "After last night…I guess I'm the only easy thing around here."

Sean sighed sadly. "Stop it, Em! I was there too, you know."

"Is that supposed to make it all better?"

Sean shook his head and cupped her cheek in his palm. "No. Look. Nothing's gonna' change what we did. I don't want it to anyway. Do you?"

Emma shrugged, trembling from his touch. "The circumstances could have been better."

Sean nodded. "Yeah…but they weren't. So…" he sighed and rubbed his thumb softly along her cheek. "So I don't give a damn about the circumstances. I'll take what I can get if it means that we're together again."

"Are we? I mean…you're still with Ellie!"

"Not forever," he murmured softly as his lips touched hers. She sighed softly, melting against him.

Sean Cameron had always been Emma's undoing.

**When we make love  
Oh, it's more to me than just an affair  
I want you to know how much I care.  
When we make love  
Oh, it's such a precious time  
We share our hearts our souls and our minds... **

These moments..these feelings..mmmmmm

Emma was trembling and whimpering beneath Sean. One hand lay on her stomach as his thumb gently caressed the smooth, flat skin…the other was threaded through her hair. He placed small kisses along her jaw line and she moaned softly, burying her hands in his light brown hair as his lips found her neck. She tipped her head, allowing more access to her neck and shoulder.

His hand moved further up her shirt and she gasped as his thumb found the tip of her small breast. "Sean!" she moaned softly as his lips searched for hers again.

He placed a soft kiss against her lips. When he pulled away, his eyes searched hers. "I…what do you want, Em?" he whispered softly.

Emma moaned again and pulled his lips back to hers as her fingers began playing their way down his chest. He moaned and caught her hands in his, pinning them above her head. "Tell me what you want," he whispered teasingly.

Emma frowned for a moment before the smirk slowly spread across her lips. She pushed him back and straddled his waist. "What do _you _want?" she whispered back.

Sean's face suddenly became serious. "I want you," he murmured before pulling her back down to kiss her lips.

She pulled back and pulled her shirt over hear head, making him moan and pull her back down to him. She whimpered in surprise as his lips began pulling gently at her breast. She put her hands on either side of his head to brace herself, her moans becoming stronger as her hips began rocking against his.

Sean groaned. "Tell me…what you want," he murmured against her breast as he held her hips and rocked against her.

Emma stood up and took his hand, pulling him up in front of him as she kissed him. "Tell me," he repeated in a harsh whisper as her slender fingers found his hardness and squeezed him through his jeans.

**When we make love  
It's more to me than just an affair  
I want you to know how much I care  
When we make love  
Oh, it's such a precious time.  
We share our hearts, our souls, and our minds...**

Emma couldn't speak. Her lips trembled…her eyes begged…and Sean's resistance was wearing thin. "Tell me," he whispered again.

"I…I…" she mumbled then sighed.

He took her hand and led her into the bedroom. He laid her on the bed and knelt over her, his hand slipping into her sweat pants. She whimpered as his finger began slowly moving in and out of her. She began rocking gently against his hand as he looked into her eyes. "Tell me, Em…please?"

She whimpered again and pulled his lips to hers. Her tongue slipped softly into his mouth. He broke the kiss and began slowly dropping small kisses along her body, making her tremble as his hand continued its slow, gentle movements. She gasped as his tongue flicked softly across her belly button. She cried out his name.

Sean wanted her…more than he'd ever wanted her, but something drove him to keep asking her…driving them both crazy. He wanted to hear her say it. He could feel her body tightening and pulled away. He stood up. "Say it," he whispered harshly as he stood in front of her, watching the passion in her eyes become stunned pain. He sighed, trembling. "Please, Em. I need to hear you say it," he murmured.

She smiled softly as she sat up and unbuckled his belt. "Sean…" she unbuttoned his jeans. "Hope…" down went his zipper. "Cameron…" she mumbled as she pushed his jeans and boxers to the floor and stood up. Emma gently shoved his shirt over his head, dropping a kiss on his collarbone that made him gasp and steady himself by grabbing her shoulders. She removed her pants and lay before him nervously. "I want…I want us…this…" she sighed and closed her eyes with a whimper as the weight shifted on the bed as he sat next to her. She opened her eyes to see him watching her with pleading eyes. She smiled, gaining strength. "I want you. I want you to show me…what my first time _should _have been."

**Now lets make love, sweet love**

Sean moaned softly and smiled. He kissed the tip of her nose and positioned himself over her as she wrapped her legs around him. She whimpered and dug her nails into his shoulders as he entered her slowly.

Both were sure that, in that moment, they'd found a piece of Heaven that no one would ever take away.


End file.
